SOUNDTRACK OF MY HIGH SCHOOL

I HAVE very fond memories of listening to Whitney Houston. So it shocked me, like it shocked so many of her fans, to learn of her death on February 11. I also felt this way when they die: Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Pinoy rap master Francis Magalona, and other great artists whom I admire or whose songs provided the soundtrack of my youth.

FM radios revisited Whitney Houston's music (like what they did with Michael in 2009) by giving her signature songs ample air time. The number of hits on YouTube videos featuring her songs and performances multiplied by the thousands after her death, thanks to her fans who went all out to show their respect to this great singer of her era.

Listening to these songs now and watching her videos linked by my Facebook friends on their posts brought with them a flood of memories. So what do you expect when songs from your past, which when heard, have the power to transport you back to a certain time and place of your life? 

With that, I started thinking back to the soundtrack of my high school days during the latter part of the 80’s. Songs I included here usually make me feel good when I hear them again. Okay, I’m getting a little sentimental here, but while I was coming up with this playlist, I realized that I can never really escape high school memories. Do you?

Here are some of the songs so that you can see what I mean.

“Light and Shade” by Fra Lippo Lippi

High school awakened my passion for music discovery. And those were the days before the Internet, MP3s and IPods. It was the time I started learning to play the guitar. And one of the songs I’d loved to play with was Fra Lippo Lippi’s “Everytime I See You”, which was immensely popular in the Philippines in the 80s. I love playing with its rhythmic base from the intro to the end, and the tune was easy for my pitch. But the song would rather introduce me to many of this Norwegian new wave band’s remarkable songs, and I picked “Light and Shade” as the best for me. I consider this song anthemic of my salad days, what with this meaningful lyrics: Be proud to wear the colors that you call your own/ Be loud, speak out when the world to know/ Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see/ Be weak, if you want to love…

 

“All at Once” by Whitney Houston

Blame it on my many first-times—first time to court a girl and to have a girlfriend, to shave, and to drink alcohol (er, sorry, Dad). And during this period, Whitney Houston’s soulful ballads dominated the airwaves. And they played so many Houston songs during our JS Prom, and I could easily remember the song when I had my first dance with a girl, a shy but radiant classmate of mine named Myrene. I remember her asking me teasingly if I feel nervous dancing for the first time (damn, I told her so). “Me, nervous? Bah!” I just hummed along with the song to cover up my uneasiness, not for the awkwardness of my first dance, but seeing my girlfriend not far away dancing with another guy, who was much better looking and much taller than me: All at once,/ I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell/ My eyes began to swell,/ And all my dreams were shattered all at once. For that was the song. But I was in high school then, see? And I have yet to learn how to count teardrops.

“Foolish Beat” by Debbie Gibson

I usually gravitated toward popular love songs when I was young, and I was especially attracted to the sweet voice and music of Debbie Gibson, who was about 16 or 17 then. Two of her songs, “Foolish Beat” and “Lost in Your Eyes,” were played heavily on radio during my high school. I remember my younger sister telling me many years after, that every time she hears “Foolish Beat” being played on the radio, she was reminded of our rowdy senior batch. The seniors, especially those on the higher sections, as expected, had a dominant presence in the campus, every extra-curricular activity, politics, journalism, sports, romance, you name it. My sister, who was in freshmen class that time, looked up to us with wonder.   

“Maghihintay Sa’Yo” by DingDong Avanzado 

I also delved into OPM songs during this period. Pinoy rock had begun to mellow and it was the era of OPM radio hits by the likes of Randy Santiago, Louie Heredia, Martin Nievera and Richard Reynoso. But I would pick Dingdong Avanzado, a much younger balladeer than those I mentioned, as one who made the songs that gave me some special memories. I remember my female classmates going gaga over him. Some of my classmates even had the chance to watch him perform live in a concert and they were insatiable, talking so much of that experience to the envy of those who hadn’t. Among his many hit songs that got stuck in my head even to this day were “Talong Biente Singko Lang” and “Maghihintay Sa ‘Yo”.

“Love’s Grown Deep” by Shalamar

As we travel down the road/ Side by side we’ll share the load/ Hand in hand we’ll see each other through/ Though we’ve only just begun/ Let’s count our blessings one by one/ I thank God for life, I thank God for you/ Love’s grown deep/ Deep into the heart of me …. I’ll probably always have a bit of a soft spot for this Shalamar’s song. It was the R & B band’s signature song, but it was actually their revival rendition of Kenny Nolan’s original. I love the melody and lyrics, and it was always the first song that I would sing or whistle along every time I rode my bike for an afternoon leisure trip to the Sta. Maria Bridge or along its river bank not far from our home in the barrio. Why, of course, I had myself imagining about this girl, the apple of my eyes, walking hand in hand as we go down the road…

“Always” by Atlantic Starr  

Think about this: You have easily learned to love this song since it had become a radio hit. It has an easy tune and lyrics that can be a source of sweet phrases or expressions for love letters (ah, those were the days of scented stationery). Suddenly you came to know that your girlfriend had hated this song because it reminded her of a former boyfriend. Probably their theme song, or an unwelcomed background music during a painful parting. Dang, that was my real story! So for a time, I stopped liking this song by the Atlantic Starr. My dislike, however, was as brief as my relationship with the girl. We broke up for a reason I couldn’t remember now. But high school memories can be tricky. What I felt about then hardly mattered to me now.

“Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

New Wave sounds, epitomized by Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran, had taken over the airwaves with its radio-friendly tune. But Rick Astley’s dance-pop songs also stood out, riding on the popularity of New Wave, with his distinctive rich, deep voice and boyish look, sans the funky hairdo of the 80s. Don’t kid yourself, you might have loved Rick Astley’s songs and his voice, too, long before his style of music was sampled by Roderick Paulate on a TV show and claimed himself to be Astley's Pinoy version.

“Pop Goes the World” by Men Without Hats

Some friends and I did this dance in our senior year. It was for a campaign rally of the candidates for the student government elections. As a candidate for a high position, I was required by the party to present a dance number. A friend chose this song for our dance, which he also choreographed. We practiced a lot in another friend’s house, but hours before our performance, a classmate suggested that we take a sip of alcohol to make us feel confident. My assent to his suggestion, though I was confident of our preparation, had resulted in a near tragic episode of my last year in high school. It was, however, an experience rich with lessons, and I got this song to remind myself of what I learned.

“Take Me Out of the Dark” by Gary Valenciano 

Gary Valenciano has been my favorite singer way back in high school. Not so much of his high-energy dance moves, but his unpretentious voice and uplifting music that touches your heart and soul. I had loved listening to his ballads, such as “Sana Maulit Muli” and “Di Na Natuto” and some of his original gospel songs, especially “Take Me Out of the Dark,” whose touching lyrics had pushed me to cling on to God during a turbulent period of my teens. I also loved his rendition of “Pasko Na Sinta Ko,” a song that has become absolutely ubiquitous during Christmas in the Philippines since it first came out in 1986. I can sing this song in karaoke, or any of his ballads, like nobody’s business.

“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship  

This was Starship’s most popular single back in the 80’s. I was fond of the song, I even copied its chord pattern, but tinkered on the tempo, for my first composition, a love song that I particularly dedicated to a special friend. The song also reminds me back to my freshman days where I was part of a dance group in our class performing an earlier hit of the band entitled “We Build This City,” or other dance tunes of the era like Jane Wiedlin’s “Blue Kiss” and Breakfast Club’s “Rico Mambo.”

“The Way You Make Me Feel” by Michael Jackson 

I grew up listening to and dancing (but to no avail) with Michael Jackson songs. Among my favorites of his many hits in the 80s were “Bad” and “The Way You Make Me Feel.” I will never forget MJ, not only because he was ultra famous as I entered adolescence, but the music he created was imbued with a sense of freedom to express oneself, to move, to shout (Hee-hee! Aoww!), to feel, and to dress, which in some way had given me the sense of what it meant to live in the world. I admire his natural talent as total entertainer, the kind of music he created that touches every one’s heart, and his hardworking attitude.

THERE are other songs that can be easily included here if I would extend my list, most of them beautifully moody music for a teenager back in those days: “Say You’ll Never Go” by Neocolours; “Changes in My Life” by Mark Sherman, “Honestly” by Stryper, “Leaving Yesterday Behind” by Keno, “With You All the Way” by New Edition, and “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna.

There were other songs from my high school days that I loved. But the ones I mentioned here could sum up pretty well that particular part of my youth. The fact I don’t listen to them as frequent as before makes them all the more appealing for me now.

TO DANCE AGAIN!

THAT smile full of sunshine. That sparkle of excitement in her eyes. That confidence shaping her moves. Those things I usually see from Roseya before a dance performance.

I was glad they were visible again in my eight-year-old daughter during the foundation day celebration of her school Jocelyn V. Cacas Montessori. She was the star dancer of her Grade 2 class. There’s no doubt that my daughter was very pleased.

It’s a quarter before 1, and Roseya was already dressed up in her fairy costume, white skirt layered with pointed strips, short-sleeved blouse, and butterfly wings. She wanted me to hurry and bring her to the venue one hour before the program (scheduled at 2 p.m.) but I had asked her kuya Nathaniel, who was also a participant in the high school level, to accompany her.

I explained to Roseya that I still have tasks to do at home. With my wife gone, I was left alone to prepare for my three children. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her, but I felt a strong effect on me on occasions like this.

My daughter has loved dancing ever since she was a little girl. She is a natural dancer, she doesn’t require a lot of coaching, and she can choreograph her own dance steps. She was a little ballerina for the past three years, and had auditioned a number of mall-sponsored talent searches and a TV dance contest. She has been invited to birthdays just to showcase her graceful moves.  

Roseya and Mom, 2010

My daughter’s talent would not have been discovered, developed and shown to admiring crowd without my wife’s guidance. Her mom’s plan to expose her early to fun ballet courses had made my daughter a lifelong lover of dance. They had a perfect mother-daughter relationship. My wife was the typical stage mother, who would always accompany our daughter in every recital or dance performance. She was a personal assistant, a make-up artist, and a manager in one package. She had been a part of the equation of my daughter’s early passion in dancing.

But things have changed for my daughter since the death of my wife. It created a seismic shift on her life. She was forced to stop going to her ballet school because without her mom, she couldn’t attend the weekly dance lessons. No more dance auditions for her, too. Her dreams for stardom lain by the wayside.

My daughter was trying to understand our present situation but sometimes, she would ask me if she could continue her ballet lessons. The ballet school owner, a kind of person who wouldn’t allow a good talent go to waste, had offered my daughter a big discount should she want to enroll again in her ballet school. 

Two months ago Roseya asked me again if she could still go to ballet school in the near future. We were in attendance at the birthday party of her neighbor friend who was also her classmate in ballet. Her friend, the celebrant, performed a couple of ballet performances with her classmates that she invited for the occasion. I felt sad seeing her watching with envy her former classmates showing the moves she would have loved doing with them. The ballet school owner approached me and reminded me of her offer. But I couldn’t commit to her nor make empty promises to my daughter regarding the matter.

                                                                                  

The last time my daughter performed a dance number was December last year. She was part of a selection of dancers who represented their school for an intermission number of a district-wide academic affair held at SM Marilao. I wasn’t able to watch the performance because of a conflict in my schedule, but with the way my daughter described it with relish, I felt I was present at the venue, beaming surely with pride seeing my daughter wowing everyone with her graceful moves.

And for this year, I wasn’t surprised when they assigned her again as a star dancer. In last year’s foundation day, the Grade 1 class topbilled by my daughter won the dance performance for Level 1 competition (preschool to grade 3). And the year before that, or when they were in Prep, they won the same competition for Level 1. There was even a joke then among the teachers that Roseya is every class adviser’s lucky charm for the annual group dance competition.

Roseya and the Grade 1 class, 2011

But without her mother around to guide her during the practice and who might have helped in the preparation of their class costumes, I had little expectations this time for my daughter’s dance performance.

Before she left the house with her kuya, Roseya asked her mom’s makeup kit from me. And it took me awhile to find it from my wife’s still unsorted things in the cabinet. Her class adviser, as suggested by my daughter, would be doing her makeup this time. About fifteen minutes later, my second child Dudoy went out the house with his newly pressed polo and an unkempt hair. I followed him after another fifteen minutes or at exactly 2 o’clock.

The sky was cloudy with patchy drizzle when I reached the venue, just about three blocks from the school’s main building. It was an uncovered basketball court with a stage and a pavilion. I immediately saw Roseya among her classmates in one corner of the court. She stood out with her fairy costume and radiant face. Some parents were beside their own children, as they try to shield them from the drizzle. My daughter kept herself near her adviser to avoid being wet.

Roseya in fairy costume with her Grade 2 classmates, 2012

Roseya flashed her toothy smile when she saw me. The drizzly weather and the resulting delay of the program couldn’t dampen her spirit for sure. And during the parade after the drizzle, she was all smiles and she didn’t forget to wave at me when she saw me in the crowd. I noticed that her face and hairdo were not done the way I expected or what her mom would have done to her. She looked plain and simple in contrast to the well-made facial enhancements of her female classmates. But my daughter’s rather shabby appearance, her hair at the back tied up by a rubber band!—was overshadowed by her bubbling aura exuding from the sheer joy of having to perform again.

After a crowd-pleasing dance numbers presented by preschoolers and a better-choreographed performance from the Grade 1 class, Roseya and her classmates had a grand entrance with their own props. But I saw my daughter being the proudest for having again the chance to dance on center stage.

With each pounding rhythm of Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger”, Roseya twirled, leapt, and spinned and jumped. She still had the grace and beauty of a ballerina. Her movement was perfectly articulated by her confident grace. She’s back in her element as a dancer. She was happy because she danced.

And Roseya danced not for the award or recognition but for the happiness and excitement. She danced because she knew her mom would have loved her doing it. She danced to feel the vibrant rhythm of life again. Dancing made her feel free!

The dance number went on without a hitch. All of the performers were good, their props perfect for the concept. But again I was not expecting them to win for their category.

I stayed on to watch Dudoy’s performance in their dance entry for Level 2 (Grades 4 to 6) and that of Nathaniel for the high school level. After that, with three more performances to go, I went home with Roseya. My two sons had to stay to wait for the awarding ceremonies. Dudoy would be receiving his gold medal for the scrabble competition and I asked his kuya to assist him in the awarding. 

I didn’t have to wait long to receive the results of the dance competitions. My two boys came rushing home telling me that Roseya’s dance presentation was adjudged champion for Level 1 and the group even won the Best Costume award. That lucky charm thing was true after all with Roseya, her winning streak now at 3. Her mom would have been really proud.

Roseya was slumped on the sofa for a much needed rest. She’s tired but happy. I told her the good news.

She hugged me tightly. “Thank you, Dad,” she said. I feel I was her mom receiving the warmth of love being reciprocated. I guess, allowing her to dance is the best way to create a solid, trusting, unbreakable relationship with my motherless daughter.