DUDOY

THIS is the nickname of my second child, whose real name is Neyo Martin Gundran Valdez.
 

I find Dudoy a very common nickname in the country, just like Boyet, Dodong, Junior, Mac-mac (and other Pinoy names with repeating syllables), or Totoy, but the name is endearing nonetheless.

But why the need for a nickname?

I, for one, don't have a nickname. My name, which is the same as my son’s first name, may be short enough for my father that he didn't give me any nickname. Or he might have been satisfied with it that he hadn’t thought of calling me with a darling short name. But unlike my father, I thought of a different, cool nickname for my son, to prevent confusion of his name with mine in our household.

However, my son’s now familiar name Dudoy is not what I intended to call him. It was not my choice, really. I could have named him Neymart, Mart, Neyney, Yoyong, or Oyen. The name Duday (yes, a girl’s name, that’s the derivation) came out from the mouth of N-yel (a nickname I gave to my first son Nathaniel) when somebody in my wife’s extended family playfully asked my two-year-old son what he would call the baby in his mother’s womb. 

Duday, if you had been watching telenovela or teleserye in the late 90s, was the name of a clumsy and loquacious maid in a comedy series topbilled by Jolina Magdangal and Marvin Agustin in Channel 2. My in-laws loved watching each episode while my little boy was enjoying, just after dinner, his playful mood in front of the TV. The name stuck in his head, so when my second child came out, and it turned out to be a boy, N-yel changed (or somebody must have coached him) the name to the masculine Dudoy.

I consider the name very special because it came from my precocious son, so I readily acceded to the suggestion. I had the inkling that Dudoy might grow up feeling an even deeper connection to his older brother because he loved him enough to give him a “special” name.

Perhaps I was wrong. Suddenly now, Dudoy, who will be turning 12 this May, has expressed ambivalence about his nickname. While he appreciates the circumstance or reason why we gave him that name, he is so shy, however, of telling his nickname to his classmates and friends. He has reasons though. Some of my son’s playmates love to make fun of his nickname. As if the name is not familiar or common enough for them that they would still call him with another name, like Doydoy, Dodong, and Dodo. Some of Dudoy’s friends even called him Budoy, and hated that name now, because a popular TV soap has that name of a retarded boy in the title role. Or perhaps it’s about the LPG delivery man in our neighborhood, who is also named Dudoy.

Her Mom, when she was alive, would rather call my son Doods which is nice to hear, though I prefer Doy for him; but when the Harry Potter series started to come out in movies, N-yel and his sister Roseya (my bunso), started calling him Dudley, after the piggy-like, slow-witted, pampered brat character in Harry’s Muggle family. 

Dudoy is a usual a name for Mr. Ordinary, a houseboy, or a waif in soap operas and movies. It hasn’t been used as name for the title role or main protagonist in a movie, as far as I know, except in Dolphy’s movie spoof of the local superhero Darna in the 70s, where his character’s name was Dudoy. 

(When I “googled” the name Dudoy, I discovered that it is also a surname of a South American basketball player and a real estate agent in New York.)

I can explain to my son that, despite some unwelcome association to his name, he can still use it to his own advantage and be proud of using it in the future, given also the fact that he cannot shed his nickname so easily to those who have known him by that name. He will just allow it to take on a life of its own and define how others think about him, whether he likes it or not. 

His given nickname does not have any negative connotation, unlike other nicknames that are focused on a physical characteristic, like Taba or Tabatsoy (for fatty ones), Nognog (for the dark-skinned), Palito (for the very thin ones). Others have more bizarre, even risqué and unflattering nicknames but the owners of these names would still stick to them like a badge of honor.

And, while it’s true that a nickname can be a form of ridicule, most nicknames are sometimes considered desirable, symbolizing a form of acceptance or adoration. But first, it is important that a good reputation must precede the name or nickname. Every person must strive hard and be popular with his achievement, not thinking about for all his life how he wants to be known. 

I can tell Dudoy about successful people and celebrities who are self-assured enough to use their nicknames, no matter how odd they sound. Some even flaunt their nicknames and earn admiration, even votes, from them. Today’s Filipino ace comedian Michael V is known by his nickname Bitoy, which endears him more to his fans. Even the president, Benigno Simeon C. Aquino III, is called Noynoy by almost everyone in the country. 

Dudoy should have read about Pele, the greatest football player of his era. The football legend from Brazil has admitted he doesn't like his nickname (Pele) at first, that he even punched the classmate who came up with it, earning a two-day suspension from school. Pele presumed it was an insult, but recently he has found out that it means “miracle” in Hebrew. 

While it's true that nicknames can be boring, pointless, incredibly annoying and immature to some, most people can see their advantages. Other nicknames have even become more popular than their real names. George Herman Ruth and Ernesto Guevara are much more famous as Babe Ruth and Che Guevara, respectively. 

Nicknames are not always given when people are young.  I have to warn my son about this. Other people for some reason might call him a name; maybe it’s about what they can see in my son’s character, a peculiarity, or some achievement in latter part of his life. But still, if ever they clothe him with another nickname, he would have the choice then whether to accept it or not. 

Anyway, changing a child’s nickname is not bad parenting, I haven’t read any magazine that says otherwise. But I wouldn’t do it now, nor I have plans for it. That’s for my son to decide. Whatever he wants, he will always be Dudoy for me.