A NOTE ON PRAYER

GOD answers prayers. I know and I believe He always does. But there are times in my life that I felt He does not respond to most of my prayers. And when I believe He answers one of my prayers, I wonder if it is really the one that I have been asking from Him, because sometimes the same thing turns out awful later on.

That’s how I felt when I got kicked out from a premier law school due to grade deficiency. I asked then, if having qualified to the college of law was an answered prayer for a better career, a better chance to help other people, and a better life for my family in the future, then why did He allow me to fail? Why did God take back the chance He had given me? It was easy to say that what went wrong was really my fault. I did not study hard, or law school wasn’t my strongest suit, or I did not want enough.

But for every struggle I had then for my class I would always seek God for help and guidance. And during the deliberation of my case by the appeals committee, I prayed hard and even made a covenant with God of a commitment to serve His church, the usual thing I do when I hit dead corners.

But I lost. The committee did not give me another chance. I became the chaff (those who did not meet the standard of excellence) separated from the grains (deserving scholars).

Then I began to wonder how prayer works, and how it makes my relationship with God become stronger with or without the answers I would expect to receive.

It’s easy to say God did not hear my prayers after all. But that’s being unfair to Him. In fact I was the one not being fair to Him, as if I was using Him and saying to this effect: Lord, you gave me this chance, so you should be there for me, I need you, and please help me do this thing. What if I had uttered instead: Lord, here I am, do whatever you want me to do, or Thy will be done, Lord. Would that make a big difference?

Winners or Losers 

Every time I watch a basketball game on television, I see that players doing the sign of the cross before they play or after they made a shot are as common as sounds of whistles for every on-court violations. And players coming from either team are all praying to the same God.

When players from one team prayed “Lord help us win this game,” and those of the other team prayed the same, to whom will God listen? And when a team wins, the players raise their muscular arms saying hallelujahs to the Lord, while the losers contemplate on why they did not get that divine intervention.

I think the world is highly polarized with winners and losers—in every field, in all walks of life. But no one can really say if one had won or lost it all. And looking back, everytime I failed in an undertaking, lost a turn or missed every opportunity that would make me feel good, I would think my prayers were not answered. Maybe because I didn't have a deeper relationship with God. And I could not do anything but wait for another round, and for another. I never considered myself religious, but through it all, I haven’t stop praying.

Lessons from Job 

I don’t believe that any misfortune that happened to us is a form of punishment from an all powerful and benevolent God. Nor is there any application to life the scientific thinking that things react because of a corresponding action, or simply, we suffered because we caused things that make us suffer.

In the bible, Job is not being punished when all his children and material possessions were lost. Job is a righteous man and faithful to his God. This only confirms one point—that the problem, misfortunes and suffering in this world is beyond our understanding. God loves Job but He has to test him.

God isn't under obligation to say “yes” to every prayer. (That's a good thing considering some of the things we request!) He may be testing us all along.

And sometimes God, who has much more wisdom and foresight than we do, says “no” to our most profound requests. But that doesn’t mean we stop from there. If time goes by and we still cannot see that our prayers have been granted, we can ask God why. We can persist on this if we do not agree with, or understand His answer. If we persist, then God will explain in terms that we will totally understand. And this can only be possible through constant prayers.

And when He does, we will know that God did hear us, indeed, and that He did for us much more than what we asked of Him. Had I realized this earlier, I would not have griped at all during those trying times of my life.