5 YEARS OF FACEBOOKING

IT was December 22, 2008 when I opened my Facebook account, upon the invitation of Arlyn, a classmate in law school, or more than four years after Mark Zuckerberg and some classmates first introduced this online social networking service to their fellow Harvard students.  

A day after my name and ID photo cropped up in blue and white corner of the cyberspace, my cousin Danny Cadorna, whom I haven't seen since he left for Japan in 1994, sent me my first ever friend request. Then another relative, a friend, a former classmate, a coworker, and even a stranger wanted me to be in their list of friends.

They are saying that most of the people who know how to use a computer and Internet have a profile on Facebook. No wonder, in just a short span, more relatives, friends, classmates, coworkers and even strangers occupied my notifications for a friend request, and even a game request, a join-a-group request and a “like” request to whatever that page is.

Suddenly I have a vibrant circle of friends whom I can communicate whenever I want. I can connect with my relatives in distant places, friends, work colleagues and “meet” new people better and more exciting than in any other medium invented by man. I can even find new updates of my high school, college or any other institutions I was involved with in the past.

I consider myself a moderate user. Facebooking is just a small part of my presence in cyberspace. And I never had FB subscriptions on my mobile phone. I use the Internet to send and read my emails, to write for my personal blogs, download free e-books, music and movies, read the news, and do some research for my freelance jobs. And when I logged in, I only used it in its original purpose: to be in a particular space with friends, communicating or just looking at each other’s posts; I never tried playing the games it offers, or bothering other people with “what’s-on-my-mind” status that may be pesky, unfriendly or wala lang to others.  

I am not so much into socialization, that’s why. You can’t see me spending my waking hours doing selfie photos, or telling about what I do and feel every day. I protect my privacy. You don’t expect me to change profiles and cover photos every single day. And you won’t see me antagonizing anyone in my friends list, because I always consider each of them as my friend. I choose what I like and share.

One time, or just after I got my first Internet broadband some years ago, I would spend more time dipping my nose into other people’s posts. I got sucked into the whirlwind of updates and data. I became jaded consumers of gossips from Hollywood to local showbiz to my neighbors. But just like with any other addictive substance—wine or coffee—I had to find some good ways to set limits. Soon I become diligent about restricting checking my account to at most 30 minutes and once in a day. I even took a long break from social media, by deactivating my account for a quarter of a year, when I prepared for a very important exam almost two years ago.

And what did I gain after more than five years of logging in? A lot.

Other than communication, these are some of the things that give me reasons to go on with Facebooking.

As data file storage     

Things I post in my timeline including those links and tags that came along are all well preserved in my account. I can always have access on, or even share, them whenever I want, and wherever I go.

Facebook is also a form of a public display board, or my own bulletin board where I can post pictures and, in a very few occasions, achievements about myself and my family. My first ever photo in my timeline is my son Dudoy’s photo taken during a school year-ending recognition in elementary school. Most of my early photo posts are about the subject parents like me want to talk about even with strangers, my own children.

I can be creative and I can use my timeline and even my cover photos to show my best photo shots in any subject, but mostly outside my personal life. I can even use my Timeline album as my portfolio of my amateur shots for everyone to examine.  

During the 10th anniversary of Facebook, a photo slide with catchy music background was made for me by the social media network, displaying “Look Back” compilation containing of my most liked photos, statuses, and life events. This, indeed, is a potent reminder that Facebook has become a very normal way to document some part of my life.

But this comes with the realization that I should never give out too much personal information in my account. I should bear in mind the privacy of my personal data, because after they are placed online, I surely lose control of them. And this data would stay throughout the Internet for a gazillion years.

That’s why I think twice before I post a photo or any data on my timeline. I have since tempered my posting about my children, as they have grown older, just for their own privacy’s sake. 

As a venue for interaction

I compare Facebook to a public place where you can go and chat freely with friends. However, since I am in a heterogeneous group and presumed to be friends or colleagues in a way, I have some unwritten rules not to say anything bad about another person. I may argue, but not to create rife. I may boast about myself but not to belittle the other person. I may express my opinion, but I respect also the other person’s opinion.

Facebook is a place of exchanging news, tweets and retweets, reports, data sharing. My personal 24/7 tabloids. I can pay attention to the conversations around them, the latest trends, issues, developments, and trending topics. But some data can be useless information, something negative or one that could hurt other’s feelings. Still I can tolerate these things, or easily discard them because I can shut out anytime. I can comment back anytime and I can remain silent whenever I want, not minding what they might say about me or my silence.

Facebook is also like a dap-ayan, a public place in the Ilocano community where people can exchange information and opinion. Dap-ayan is actually a modest structure usually found in the barangay, made of light materials. The cool confines of the structure are where barangay officials usually hold their meetings. It is rather a formal gathering compared with chance meeting in the neighborhood, e.g., the community sari-sari store. Everyone who has right to speak can do so freely.

Unlike the dap-ayan, however, Facebook allows communication that is not necessarily a two-way process; rather it’s impersonal. There is lack of on-the-face interaction and one can be in though he or she doesn’t talk at all and no one even bothers for feedbacks or reactions.

As a public address system

Facebook is also an effective public address system. I proved this when I informed my relatives and friends about the untimely death of my wife. I was then in a haze after a grueling hours in the hospital and a painstaking negotiation with the funeral parlor, so I no longer had the energy or probably the courage to talk to the phone or to text messages for my relatives. So I just posted a message on my Facebook status. And in a very short time, my FB friends from all corners of the world were informed immediately about the tragedy. Friends sent back messages offering condolences and prayers and general support. The outpouring of support from friends, colleagues, and even strangers gave me strength during those times.

Facebook is proven to be an effective avenue for announcements or press releases. Anyone can use Facebook to announce the publication of a work, winning a contest, reunions, anniversaries, and travels abroad. And you can use this for very personal reasons, like posting messages to whom it may concern. I have heard stories of people finding their long lost father or mother or child or sweetheart by scourging FB profiles.

Facebook has also its benefits for business purposes because of its ability to reach an audience on more than one platform, especially those users who rely on social media for customer service.

As a source of entertainment

Facebook is increasingly becoming a multimedia entertainment platform. I can watch movie trailers, read through reviews and promotions through links from source or through YouTube linkages. And I can watch funny videos and viral videos links, that could make me smile and think that life, both in real and in cyber world, is all fun.

But first I look for those videos coming from reliable sources. There are as many fake and prank videos and even fake news flashes (e.g., the death of a celebrity) as there are fake FB accounts or those accounts who want to gather “likes” for their page through teasing titles or captions. If I don’t know or not familiar with a link source, I don’t bother to open it. I hate losing a precious minute of my logged-in time just for these things.

Neither do I count on Facebook games to be entertained or to while away my time with smiles. I’m like those friends of mine who post on their timeline I-don’t-play-video-games memes that warn or berate those who invite them or send notifications on games. Of course, to get the most of the day, I would rather be out of FB, and just sit comfortably at home, enjoy a cup of coffee and read a newspaper or book of my choice.

But another thing I love about FB are those jokes, funny and relevant memes, and funny anecdotes and stories linked or shared or originally posted on my friends’ timelines. In a sea of selfies and irrelevant data, each funny post is actually a breath of fresh air. I have a loose finger liking all of these things. In fact, I have been downloading and collecting some interesting photos, especially those very creative, catchy and hilarious memes for my personal file. Though they say that it’s very remote possibility that FB will go Friendster’s way and die out of the cyberspace, I have these worth-sharing files to keep.

NOW if you consider all these things, then like me, you can gain a lot with Facebook.

While it’s true that Facebook is also one of the major reasons for failed relationship and breakups, it’s always easy to avoid one. Just use Facebook as your buddy, and don’t ever misuse and abuse its networking power.

Facebook only creates shallow connections, yet it's still a connection for whatever reason, and you can always harness their presence in the proper time. Just leave at that, a shallow connection, and don’t fret so much when someone unfriended or blocked you. Nothing beats personal interaction, and there are more friends, those in the real world, whom you can rely even without the social media.

And Facebook can also agitate you with a wide range of emotions, like being sad or depressed. You can avoid falling into trap by avoiding comparing yourself to your FB friends or feeling the sting of rejection with what or how they post. (Your friends’ posts may be fake or just airs!) You may not know that you have been checking out photos and updates from friends, but you are actually checking up on how others view you. This, according to experts, could lead you to social media depression, which they informally describe that depressive thoughts associated with using social media.

It's far better talking to your friend in person and appreciate what they have or done, rather than clicking the thumb-up sign. Laugh out loud with them than typing LOL on comment boxes. You may be happier calling someone directly through mobile phone instead of commenting on their status update, or chatting them online.

We live in a curious era where most people, especially the young, dream of having thousands of friends and followers in cyber world to be in the loop of things. But if you want to join and be like them, just be yourself, as Oscar Wilde, has said, everyone else is already taken. And don't be too selfie or self-absorbed; be true to who you are and what you can be.